I'm not good at this.

if I actually remembered to blog every single day, would I have more readers?
or do I need longer posts?

or advertising might be helpful.

today.

mmm it's a day.
Working on Kyle's birthday present. it's more difficult than anticipated but it's still good.

home again, home again

I went home for the weekend. it was a good weekend.
I spent some time with brony people, some time with family, and a lot of time with Kyle. I like Kyle time.

I think that somehow, this long distance thing really is working. So I can only see him a couple times a month. We're both so busy that the time's flying by.
And we talk enough that it's okay. I don't need him around to know that he cares.

I'm okay.

Today sucked.

I'm neurotic.

So here's what happened. A meetup was posted today in New York on a weekend I'm going back for Kyle's birthday.
I realized, he's probably going.
I realized, he probably won't tell me until after I've bought the bus tickets.

Then I realized if I press him, I could know earlier, and then I could maybe go too.

Then, the thought came to me that I just don't fit in with New York bronies. Would I like to spend a weekend in NY with my boyfriend? hell yeah! but they're his friends and they're not my friends.
Different friend groups is why Mike and I broke up. or at least part of the reason. I think.

I wondered for a moment if this is why I was trying so hard to be on Bronycon staff. Might have been, and I do realize that's not a good reason. Of course Kyle can have his own friends, I shouldn't try to weasel my way in on that.
Besides, I'm working on a con for GHL. I'm busy enough as it is.
So I decided you know what, I should let that go. No more trying to be on staff, I'll let that be.

And then I realized that if I don't get on staff (which I'll be honest! it was a long shot anyways) or even volunteer (which I can't because I'd be working under Kyle, and that's not a good situation) I won't be able to afford going to bronycon, which is kind of a huge deal.

which then led me to thinking that I am going to be cut off as soon as I graduate and not be able to afford anything anymore

and now I want to cry


kyle's probably going to find some other girl in new york
why would he want someone as neurotic as me

Today

Today isn't over quite yet. But I finished my stuff up early enough to be able to write this post early.



so today will be interesting. Playtesting MLP Fluxx in ghl tonight.
Firefox's spellcheck recognized only two of those words.

Long long long day

Backpack + 5 lb textbook + laptop + 20 minute walk = terribly sore shoulder.

I need a massage like now.

things and stuff.

Yesterday wasn't too interesting, neither was today.

I got toys. for Kyle.

I'm doing okay in classes.

Honestly I just want to finish up this post and get back to watching Serenity.