it's cold today

rain rain go away
come again another day

hm.

Today I went into town and it rained hard, I got soaked.
My roommate made cookies and they were awesome.
And now I'm going to make some dinner tonight that I hope will be awesome.
And as I type, I'm listening to people judge my voice.
gonna wait to see what they say before I post.
I've been judged on the quality of my recording! thanks. talk about the singing.

oh, well they like me, and I am in an actual singing contest now.
no money, fame or fortune. just a little bit of internet recognition.

back at school.

It's bizarre being back. The apartment is different and new and weird. but it's starting to be okay

I like my roommates. and I'm excited for classes.

and I know that there's a guy waiting back home who loves me. I can 100% trust that he's waiting.
and that's good.

why do I suck?

Trying to plan a party, but can't get ahold of people I want to go to it.

so that's. frustrating.
it's going to be the last time I see Kyle before I go back to school, too, so it has to happen.

but if I don't see him? I think I'll be okay.
He told me that he loves me last night.
We're going to try to have skype dates when we can.
I'm going to miss him so much, but I think we'll be okay.

Pi-Con!

The con took all weekend which is why I haven't blogged in a few days. but it was an awesome fun time.

The panels were good, the gaming was fun, I met some cool new people.

And I saw Mike again. Wasn't so bad, actually. We ended up hanging out a bit and I felt very little towards him. Some anger, some hoping that he's doing okay, but no sort of romance or lust. Just okay, he's there, we're friends.
We really are friends. feels good to say that. feels good to really know that.

Although, I did slap him. I had to.
It felt /good/.

.

Here's the thing.
Every single month, I worry about my period being late.
Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. I'm under quite a bit of stress right now and that's going to make it worse.
but I'm going to worry.
It's going to come, I'm sure of it.
but the worry is still there.

I just want it to come and leave already.

Working for people

All I have to say about today is PEOPLE GIVE ME GAS MONEY. YOU OWE ME.

Long day

Today has been long but okay.
I've thought about Mike, I've been stuck in the kitchen at work, I'm behind on my stuff, friend drama, and things all happen.
But I'm okay. I got nothing to complain about (except the heat). I have the honest sense that even though today wasn't perfect, things are going to get better. Soon.

I'm good.

Today is the first day in a long time that I have really felt good.
Maybe that hypnosis yesterday worked? idk.

Oh yeah, I got hypnotized yesterday.
I'm trying to get over my fear of bees/general anxiety.
The anxiety is less today, despite still waking up at 5 and not having my computer all okay. So maybe I'm okay.

ugh

Mike continues to email me.
I had to tell him to stop. Hearing from him was hurting too much. I started hoping that maybe he still really loved me and I can't let myself think that.

Work today was long and I'm tired, but I managed to catch up on all the things I needed to do so I'm good.

Today is talking about a site I have favorited again? okay.

http://www.marieclaire.com/celebrity-lifestyle/articles/livingalonerecipes
This site's got a bunch of recipes to cook for one person, which clearly I need a lot of now.
Except not because I cook for my parents too, but sometimes it can be kind of fun to be cynical, you know?

Talked to him.

I talked to Mike yesterday.
Didn't go as badly as I thought I would. I miss him a lot and I want him back, but it's nice to know that he's doing well, and that he does care how I'm doing.
I don't know if he misses me, but I hope he does.

I went to a roleplay with some bronies today and it was fun times.
but now I'm really tired.